As I Type It: Rat Bait

Years ago while studying for my word pronouncing degree, I knew a grad student working toward his PhD. in Behavioral Science. This young researcher, whose name I dare not divulge, worked with rats for many years, slowly altering them and training them to set aside portions of their daily allotment of food pellets in anticipation of one day becoming too old to continue their gathering.  When that day arrived they were to be permitted to draw from this vast store of pellets and live out their golden weeks in comfort and security.

One day the university sent notice to my scientist friend that funding for his rats’ food had been cut and that he would have to downsize his program.  But the researcher had a plan.  He gathered together his current population of “working” subjects and told them, in the special language of rats that he had picked up over the years,” There won’t be enough food for all of you to quit gathering unless you change your ways.”  Then he sat back and took notes.

Within hours a sufficient number of rats had gnawed and clawed each other to death as to allow the doctoral candidate to continue his research with food retrieved from the large store of pellets left behind by older, weaker, and now mostly dead test subjects.

Later my friend abandoned his research and went to work for an investment bank.