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This is Stanley Douglas with News From The Great Re-Depression, brought to you by The Funny Times because we’re living in funny times.

Citizens of Wisconsin began walking sideways today after their newly elected governor Scott Walker formally commanded them to do so. Wausau resident and former lumberjack Russ Wheeler told the press he trusts the governor to send him in a nice direction, but hopes that someday—

Wheeler: “Maybe he’ll let us go backwards a bit, just for a change of pace.”

Last week Governor Walker ordered the lakes around the state’s capitol to be drained and the land planted with chewing tobacco.

And finally, a bill working its way through the Republican-controlled House of Representatives will de-immunize children against polio, tetanus and measles if all goes as planned. Following the mass government-subsiized de-immunization, the nation’s kids will be asked to return an estimated 70 million lollypops.

This is Stanley Douglas, reminding you that Jesus can see all those pictures on your computer.  For more News go to howdyland.com.