Comments for News from the Great Re-Depression

Comment on Transplant Savings by Bonnie

Bonnie — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:58:09 +0000

We might be able to help somebody save money on a transplant cause my husband says he would give his left nut for a giant hi-def TV. Anybody want to barter?

Comment on Chad Hitler by Bonnie

Bonnie — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 00:11:43 +0000

I’m disregarding your advice about the licorice. They keep tellin’ me I’m overqualified, so I’m gonna eat a lot of black licorice before the next interview!

Comment on Chad Hitler by Bonnie

Bonnie — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 00:08:50 +0000

So is he now going to be Chad Angelo … or Angelo Hitler?

Comment on Real Estate Hits Bottom by Bonnie

Bonnie — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 03:25:27 +0000

Another use for bowling balls is cannon shells! Or catapult ammo!! They can also be dropped on the foot of anyone who pisses me off!

Comment on Heavy Premium by Bonnie

Bonnie — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 03:18:43 +0000

How much is Heaven Premium service? What do you mean? If I have to ask, I can’t afford it? Can I buy it on layaway?

Comment on Chicken by Bonnie

Bonnie — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 19:14:51 +0000

Pet chickens? What the flock?
Not sure I can agree about leaving it alone and it eventually falls off. Sometimes you leave it alone and it keeps getting bigger and it never falls off. Take a good look in the rear-view mirror and weep like I do!!

Comment on A Whole New Life Form by Bonnie

Bonnie — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 18:58:51 +0000

The analogy of the Chevy Volt as a clown car is certainly apt. Up to 40 miles distance can possibly be achieved before this sucker has to be recharged again. Don’t venture far from home, clown Volt buyers, or you won’t get back home without a tow truck. The bunch of clowns who decided to produce and try to market this clown car to us clowns are to be possibly commended for their clownish humor. And the clown car costs as much as a nice Mercedes!

Comment on Frugal Diet by Bonnie

Bonnie — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 02:46:23 +0000

I can actually picture Sylvester Stallone as a soup Motivator, screaming at a bowl of corn chowder. I believe I actually saw him do this in one of his films! I think it was Rocky XIX.

Comment on Babies by Bonnie

Bonnie — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 02:42:45 +0000

Those fat greasy babies being cloned at MIT will come in handy pretty soon as Soylent Green.

Comment on Babies by Bonnie

Bonnie — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 02:38:04 +0000

Great idea! Reuse everything we use! I am starting my reuse program with toilet paper, which is a complete waste of money, if you ask me. Reusing it will make me feel so much better about this extravagant useless item. The free Sears catalog was fine for us but it bit the dust when the shit hit the fan.

Comment on That Weird Sound by Bonnie

Bonnie — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 18:09:49 +0000

Sorry about that weird sound. It’s my air conditioner unit. I tried to call the repair folks but they sound like they are in North Korea? What’s going on? I thought all techs were in India! Well, it doesn’t matter cause I can’t understand them either.

Comment on High Speed Gravy Train by Bonnie

Bonnie — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:47:56 +0000

That George W, he is just bored. I always knowed he would not take to retirement like a duck to water. Just stick his butt on that high speed gravy train, that should give him a taste o’ fun.

Comment on Corn Leak by Mary McCall

Mary McCall — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 03:28:07 +0000

Love it

Comment on Corn Leak by Jim Manis

Jim Manis — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 23:19:06 +0000

I ain’t tradin’ my old Chevy in for any ol’ Cry Sliver!

Comment on Price of Celery by Bonnie

Bonnie — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 18:37:10 +0000

I tried yellin’ at them folks in the red zone to shut up but it just makes ‘em worse.

Comment on Chip and Owl Breeding by Bonnie

Bonnie — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 18:48:49 +0000

WHO did you say Chip is working with now? Owls? Who?
Can’t wait to see what we will be eating in 2011 on our sandwiches. Probably what my dogs are now eating. You think I meant dog food, now didn’t you? Nope, my dogs have taken up eating dirt. Yep, just common ordinary outdoors dirt. One of them started, and now they are all eating dirt. I’ve heard about teaching a man to fish. Well, this is even better. You can’t always find fish. But dirt is everywhere!

Comment on Hu Chew by Bonnie

Bonnie — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 19:11:32 +0000

The Hu Chew? Hu Gnu!!

Comment on Flat Screen House by Bonnie

Bonnie — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 19:45:01 +0000

Strip Jeopardy at Stuart’s house? Count me in!

Comment on Flat Screen House by Geno

Geno — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 16:12:45 +0000

Oh boy! We can play Strip Jeopardy at Stuart’s house!

Comment on Get-Away-World by Bonnie

Bonnie — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 20:02:04 +0000

If Get-Away World can be brought back from wherever it went to, can I get a job there? Or if Chip Wizzler gets killed, can I have his new job at the Particle Accelerator place?

Comment on Get-Away-World by Depression 2008: the Indian Scene | Local Weeklypaper

Depression 2008: the Indian Scene | Local Weeklypaper — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 09:01:33 +0000

[...] Get-Away-World – News from the Great Re-Depression [...]

Comment on Krugman on a Mule by Bonnie

Bonnie — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 19:40:24 +0000

I am so relieved that Paul Krugman is off the streets. He needs to be kept away from the public for our protection. Was Paul riding that mule to simulate the image of the Messiah riding to Jerusalem on a donkey? Or is the mule supposed to be a symbol of Krugman’s stubbornness?

Comment on Krugman on a Mule by Geno

Geno — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:50:59 +0000

Someone at work was just telling me, yesterday, how his uncle owns a picture frame made of elephant dung. So let’s look into that idea of making furniture from other detritus.

Comment on Topping Guy by Bonnie

Bonnie — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 19:10:52 +0000

Thanks to you, I finally understand why all beds end up covered in cracker crumbs!

Comment on God’s Gravy by Bonnie

Bonnie — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:48:24 +0000

I just went outside an’ checked and there ain’t no brown gravy nowhere to be found. The poor way outnumber the rich out here, so where’s our gravy? All I seen is greasy brown creek water an’ it sure don’t taste good.

Comment on Free Eyebrows by Bonnie

Bonnie — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 20:43:18 +0000

This is tragic news. Finding out that the homeless are now being left chinless is just awful. How can the homeless keep their chins up now? Let’s face it, all this news about the poor plastic surgeons getting poorer just reduced me to tears and my chin is still quivering.

Comment on Cucumber Contest by Bonnie

Bonnie — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 18:48:13 +0000

We feel such sorrow for the poor town that had its cucumber contest ruined. Not sure why the event organizers didn’t buy the burpless cukes, but mistakes were made. We have decided to remedy the situation by bringing our extra cukes and zucchini (which were always a problem of excess until now) to this town, as soon as the eructations calm down a bit.

Comment on Hounds by Bonnie

Bonnie — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 17:50:12 +0000

It’s a durned shame this poor feller is bein’ chased by relentless hounds. If all them folks standing around fidgeting with their cell phones would use them phones to call off the dogs, then this poor unemployed feller could look for a new job. He could head to the fields of California and pick arugula with them there aliens!

Comment on Turkeys 1 by Bonnie

Bonnie — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 18:41:06 +0000

Well I ain’t gonna adjust to no 90% soybean diet. Y’all can do whatever you want, but I’m eatin’ them dad-blasted turkey varmints. Let’s be honest here, we all know it was them turkeys that ate up all the corn seeds. An’ are we gonna let ‘em get away with it? Not me, I’m gonna be out back target practicin’. Them varmints will show up here soon enuf, and I’m gonna be ready for ‘em when they come! Thanks for the advance warnin’, sure do ‘preciate it. God bless y’all an’ may God help me with my shootin’ skills!

Comment on Avatar Impersonator by Bonnie

Bonnie — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 19:15:40 +0000

Where is this car wash where Jake is getting a job? I’m getting desperate here, and I’m pretty sure I can be an avatar impersonator. I don’t have tattoos but I do turn blue when I can’t afford heat.
Do you think Wolf Blitzer will lose his job now that he has been arrested? Could I apply for his job? If Wolf gets fired from CNN, do you think FOX will hire him? Do you think I should apply at Fox before Wolf thinks of it? I can act like a redneck y’all, and I can even pretend to like Sarah. Well, if I take something to prevent nausea and kind of dull reality a bit, then I can pretend to think Sarah is a genius. With the drugs onboard, maybe I won’t have to pretend.

Comment on College Kid by Bonnie

Bonnie — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 18:30:08 +0000

Wait a darned minute, that job Steve took from Erica? That was promised to me first. How am I gonna get a job if these bottom-feeding scum suckers keep stealing my jobs right out from under my nose? Steve is waaayyy fat, he’s gross, man, and I’m real thin since I don’t have any money for food anymore.

Anybody know how to apply to the Department of Tomfoolery? Any way to get on the next trip to Mars? I don’t care about the lack of entertainment there, it ain’t too entertaining here either, most days.

Comment on Skittle Spill by Bonnie

Bonnie — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 18:30:07 +0000

This reminds me of “Cleanup at the dog food spill” which I think was a Mueller cartoon I cut out from God-knows-where, many years ago.

Comment on Tar Robertson by Bonnie

Bonnie — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 18:21:19 +0000

It’s not nice to make fun of Messiah Robertson. If the oil spill had happened off the coast of Virginia, none of the nasty goo would have washed ashore. Pat kept the hurricane away and he would do the same with anything else crude. Pat is our only hope now! Fall on your knees and pray to him!

Comment on Clash Day by Bonnie

Bonnie — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 18:17:46 +0000

If I get a dayglow orange and lime green outfit, can I work in Wall Street too? Heck fire, any job will do, even one with the bottom feeders and pond scum.

Comment on Chip Directs Traffic by Bonnie

Bonnie — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 18:14:33 +0000

Dang it, Chip Whizzler got the job I was tryin’ so hard for. It ain’t right. Now what am I gonna do?

Comment on Action Figure Sold by Pete

Pete — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 13:48:57 +0000

Good morning. Small news today as an action figure has been sold.

Comment on The Circus by Tom Scalese

Tom Scalese — Sat, 15 May 2010 16:38:25 +0000

That’s what I get for buying a circus on Craigslist…

Comment on The Circus by Leaves Falling

Leaves Falling — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 12:24:27 +0000

Great to hear news from home! Maybe the clowns could help out with the Lincolnshire 4th of July parade!

Comment on Software Designer by Geno

Geno — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 15:48:58 +0000

Wow, some quarters almost trickled down! I’m still waiting to see a few roll this way.

Comment on Banana Dance by John Johnson

John Johnson — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:04:31 +0000

I’m more worried about Dems who rent two person donkey costumes. Whoever wants to be in the bottom is clearly on top. So let Republicans be the asses then my tax dollars don’t support gay homosexuals. Plus, make all public officials rent elephant costumes because elephants hate gays. Gorillas like bananas to much.

Comment on Shrapnel Tester by Geno

Geno — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 18:50:02 +0000

I work in the rapidly-dying business of local television. A shrapnel testing gig would be something to fall back on.

Comment on Shrapnel Tester by Lwood

Lwood — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:47:28 +0000

As an AE working in Wholesale Mortgage Banking, I’m not far from taking that position!

Comment on Splatterhead by Eyeball Kid

Eyeball Kid — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 05:36:48 +0000

Ool.

Comment on Obama Cans by Nancy

Nancy — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:19:29 +0000

Stanley, you are so manly.

Comment on Obama Cans by Pete

Pete — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 19:50:52 +0000

Hooey.